Contemplating Your Place
by AllTheWrongLoves
Summary: "Because after all, he's just Joel and I'm just Ellie. We're nobody special." For The Last Of Us. I'll change its category when the game comes out. So no bricking please.
1. Chapter 1

**So, somethin a little deep again because I was playing on tumblr and there was this post that I thought was nice. In a weird way. Dedicated to the game that taunts me with being released in 2013 :I I own nothing.**

He told me stories about what earth was like before the apocalypse; how lazy afternoons meant barbequing with friends and family or just a day doing absolutely nothing. How even though there was crime there was also happiness to counter it. My favorites were of the concerts and movies he talked about all the time. He knew that was all I ever wanted to know about, the books and music people liked before everything went to shit. I could always see vine free buildings, working cars and happy unmutated faces every time I closed my eyes during his stories. The rare moments I saw him give a genuine smile is when he talked about the past, our present spot affecting him than he cared to say. I loved being out of that quarantine zone into the real world-yes the infected and hunters were problems through our journey, but that didn't stop me from trying to explore the nature claimed states and the mind of my…what? Friend? partner? Maybe a mentor?

He was complicated; his past was something I would probably never know. His mind and history were mysteries to me. I got tidbits from how he reacted to things or the horribly rare run in with old acquaintances. He knew how to kill-whether it be messy or quick- without a bat of an eyelash. He knew what it took to survive. He never told me his reason why he took me out of that quarantine zone all except it was a promise to a friend when he didn't know me at all! Though I might be wrong; I never met my parents so who knows…he might be some connection to them. I don't know. Or really care, honestly.

Hate to say it, but I've started to…_trust _him. I guess I kind of have to, huh? Tch-he's the only guy who hasn't attempted to kill me since we started this road trip from hell. I guess I…look up to him as much as it bruises my ego to say. He protects me and in return I do the same. We started our own small ritual and silent way to speak to each other where a mere scuff of the foot could get us eaten or robbed. There's no love in whatever the shit we are. There is trust-on some level- there is partnership. We are nothing more than two people traveling, avoiding and defying death at every mushroom headed, hunter infested turn. To him-even though I'm a delinquent with a dirty mouth and a lot more maturity than I should have-I'm just Ellie. The teenage girl that has his back better than any asshole his age ever could. He's been called a thug, a torturer, a killer…me? He's just Joel to me. The guy that took me out of the place I despised. He was the only man I could be one hundred percent sure wouldn't murder me in my sleep or something stupidly cliché like in all the books I snatch from places we stop.

Maybe once upon a time, he was an all American hard worker with a family and warm heart…not the hard, cold man I'm so used to. But, that side was most likely long gone. He saw the world for what it was before the apocalypse. He watched everything go to hell and adapted to it. If somewhere inside him layed said warm man, it wasn't coming out any time soon. But I didn't care. He was Joel no matter what.

"Ellie, we've hung around here long enough. Let's keep moving." I nodded and stood up from my place on some old bag of god knows what. I grabbed my bag, hurrying to Joel's side without a word and we started our trek once again. The flush plants clinging to foundation failing buildings and long abandoned cars were the only things I saw anymore. It was better than running around the quarantine only to meet a solid concrete wall no matter what. It was freedom. And maybe-just maybe- I'll thank Joel for taking me out of it one day. After I jab him for all the near death experiences. We both stop when we hear the shattering of glass. I pull out my pocket knife without a thought, Joel retrieving his revolver that probably only has two bullets in it.

"Oh goodie. Some more." I muttered, following him to hide behind a wall. He shot me a look with little speckles of amusement before telling me to be quiet. Of course, I obeyed. Didn't want to get in the way of some crazed mushroom heads or even crazier hunters. He touched my shoulder as a sign for 'get ready', the sound of voices reaching my ears. Nah we weren't family. We probably were just starting to even think of calling one another a friend. For the moment, we were companions-each other's rocks in this godforsaken place that once harbored billions of humans. It wasn't the average way a kid my age trusted an adult. Part of me felt like things wouldn't end with a happily ever fucking after, but that was okay. Life wasn't a fairy tale. It never would be.

Joel snuck away and snapped one of the stragglers neck, hiding before he could be seen. I grabbed a brick by my foot in case he got in trouble. Yeah…Joel was Joel, and this life was my life. There might be a day where Joel and I can walk around without paranoia. But there also might be a day I'll die or he will in the hands of the things we fight off every day. So until then, I'll just stick by his side and be who I am. Because after all, he's just Joel and I'm just Ellie. We're nobody special.

**:D :D :D eh? Eh? How'd I do? I gave myself somethin different to do so I don't break my brain in boredom, hope you like it. Ugh I wish this game would come out already! ;A; trust me when I say that once I have that game I will write much more of these. **


	2. meey bill! :D

**Yerp-more the last of us. Been wanting to write something ever since naughty dog released a new cutscene for comicon. Ellie's a little boss! Late story is late. XD I own nothing.**

Ellie rushed into the stranger's house, the sounds of the infected and Joel urging her on closely behind. She watched as Joel and his supposed friend hurriedly shut the door and leaned against it in just as much relief as she felt.

"Man…" She panted, feeling herself relax a little at the fact they were away from the clickers. "That was close." The man with the gas mask walked up to her and she stumbled to say something appreciative. "Uh, Thanks for heroics and all." He removed his mask to show a fairly aged face and rather long hair, his face a completely blank slate. His features held the same long experienced wisdom Joel's held, but it was less gentle. Ellie decided to hold her hand in a peace offering. "Uh, Ellie." Introductions were fine, right? She never really had to bother with them. Joel had been the first one she actually bothered to introduce herself to. The man raised his hand like he was getting ready to respond to her, until he whipped out a pair of handcuffs, clicking one onto her wrist.

"Hey, what are you-Joel?" It wasn't really a call for help, but more of a request for an explanation. "What-"He clicked the other around a rusty pipe just as Joel called the man 'Bill' and rushed towards them. Ellie immediately started pulling on the flimsy pipe. Bill pulled out a gun and pointed it at Joel, making the man stop in his tracks to defend the child he agreed to protect.

"Turn around and get on your knees!" He demanded. Joel raised his hands.

"Just calm down a second-"he attempted to lower the tension and talk rationally, but his old companion wasn't going to let it happen.

"Turn around and _get on your knees! Don't test me!" _Bill hollered.

"Alright!" Joel gave in and turned around, feeling a harsh impact on the back of his legs, making him fall into a kneeling position. Bill started pawing at his back while in the background Ellie was still struggling to tear the pipe out of the wall, her entire brain screaming 'defend' It was almost intense how much her body burned with the need to protect Joel just as much as he did for her. Her mind momentarily flashed to their hotel incident. If she hadn't thrown hat brick…who knows what would have happened. The thought pushed her into overdrive until the pipe was noticeably loosening.

"Any bites?"

"No."

"Anything sproutin?"

"Goddamnit, I'm _clean!" _Bill seemed satisfied and slowly backed away from the old colleague.

"I see _any-_"He didn't get to finish when he turned around to face a newly free Ellie slamming the pipe that had her captive into his arm, making him stumble back with a pained and surprised curse. Ellie raised the pipe for another whack when Joel grabbed the weapon mid swing with a loud 'stop', looking the teen in the eyes as he stopped her self-defense. His look said everything. It's alright. For now. It was the briefest display of how trust they put into each other, how no matter what this was between them and only them. She relaxed and let Joel take the pipe out of her hands, little bits of rust stuck on her palm from the vice-like grip she had held it in. Joel turned to glare at Bill.

"You done?" he scorned, using the pipe as his pointing tool. Ellie stood fuming by his side wishing the handcuffs were gone. The adrenaline from his attempt at keeping her in capitated slowly drained from her body to be replaced with anger just as slowly.

"Am I do-?" The fellow survivor scoffed in shock and broke into a rant to show his displeasure of the having the other two survivors in his home. "You come into my house, set off all my traps," Bill looked to Ellie as he pointed to his now sore arm. "You damn near break my shootin'arm-who the fuck is this punk and what's she doin here?" Bill focused his anger on the obvious new addition to Joel's company, curios and enraged that the middle aged man would take in a juvenile who nothing about life before the outbreak.

"_I _am none of goddamn business and we're here because you owe Joel some favors, and you can start by takin _these_ off!" Ellie let her own anger and slight embarrassment show, every word she spoke filled with absolute bite towards her quickening enemy, also raising the handcuffs that was still around her one wrist. Bill rolled his eyes and turned his back on the flustered teen who was being consoled by Joel without much effort-his way of calming children a mere hand on the back and a look that said that was enough.

"I owe Joel some favors…is that some kind of joke?" Joel turned to Ellie to silently tell her to keep quiet before chucking the pipe to the ground and walking over to Bill's messy table filled with maps and scraps of metal.

"I'll cut to the chase. I need a car." Joel spoke calmly and watched Bill's reaction. Without looking at the other man Bill picked up his machete and began to sharpen it.

"Well it is a joke; Joel needs a car." He mocked, pausing as if to consider something. "Well, if I had one that works-which I sure as hell don't-what makes you think I'd just give it to you? Huh?" Joel momentarily shook his head disdain. He knew the hard man was going to be like this. "Yeah sure Joel, go ahead! Take all my food too while you're at it!" There was that sarcasm.

"By the looks of it you could lose some of that food." Ellie spoke up without any mercy as she looked at the man's rather pudgy physic. Bill's response was instant; he raised his freshly sharpened weapon and pointed the tip right at Ellie's face. But there was no fear or concern, just her irritation and cocky expression.

"You listen to me you little shit-" Joel sighed and moved to set his hand on Ellie's shoulder once again, pushing her away as she spoke.

"No _fuck _you! You handcuffed me-"

"I need you to _shut. Up." _Joel muttered between clenched teeth as he pushed Ellies shoulder, not surprised when she gave her own sigh and shrugged his hand, watching him walk back to equally rigid man. The tension lingered, but Bill moved back to their subject at hand and continued to sharpen his weapon.

"Whatever favors you think I owe ya, they aren't worth that much." Joel firmly set his hands against the splintering wooden table.

"Actually Bill, They are." The two looked one another in the eye, Joel pulling the card of past events. Ellie was gob smacked at his tricky move. She thought he wouldn't dare speak of his past with her around, since it seemed she didn't need to know what he had done before she came along. Bill pursed his lips.

"Well it don't matter 'cause I don't have a car that works." He murmured for the first time since their meeting, perhaps a little sympathy crossing the tone of his voice.

"But there is one in this town." Joel pressed, lightly tapping his hand against the wood, knowing Ellie was listening to every word they were speaking. The girl was observant and sharp. She refused to be left in the dark even if it brought her harm.

"_Parts_; There are parts in this town." Bill corrected with the twinge of sympathy gone and annoyance slinking in instead.

"Which means you could fix one up." Joel insisted with fervor, his only reason why he was pressing so hard was to get Ellie out of that City and to complete what he promised his friend. Bill hesitated and washed his gloved hand over his well bearded face.

"Alright." He sighed, swiping scraps of a marked up map. Ellie moved in closer until she was next to Joel to see what Bill was showing them.

"If I'm gonna do this, there's some gear I'm gonna need."

"Alright."

"It's on the other side of town. Now you help me go gather it and maybe I can put somethin together that runs." Bill reached into his pocket to retrieve something as he spoke. "But after this, I owe you nothin." He slammed a very small pair of keys onto the table without another word. Joel snatched them.

"That's fine. Couple days from now we'll probably be dead anyways." He unlocked the cuff that was on Ellies wrist and lazily tossed them onto the floor.

"Good. Follow me; whole goddamn towns booby-trapped. Best stay right on my ass." Bill ordered curtly, not looking back as he marched away from the table to leave to duo to the choice of following him or not. Ellie rolled her eyes and sighed as she realized that this meant more time with the not so friendly ally.

"Can't miss it." She bit, wanting to smirk at her own remark as Joel turned his head to give her a scolding look. That mouth of hers was going to get them into some shit. Joel grabbed her arm and pulled her forward.

"Knock it off." She huffed and trudged along, hating the moments Joel's fatherly side decided to rear its head. But she knew that this was only to them further into their journey, so maybe it was best she behaved a bit more now. Joel may be used to her snarkiness, but Bill was a lot less tolerant.

**Hurrr-hurrr! Stupid one shot is stupid. I was gonna have this in Ellie's POV but meh-I got lazy. But comicon was awesome! There are soo many games coming out that it makes wish I had a job to get enough money to buy all of them! But the last of us is first on my list! And what do you know! Only a day after updating on another story! I shall not disappear until-well probably October when school starts to get heavy.**


	3. innocence

**FFF-I have never hated school so much before! This is the first time I've been able to SIT DOWN and type in two weeks. *went through computer withdrawal* but enough of my complaining. I watched the PAX PRIME gameplay for the last of us…and fangirled all over the floor. I own nothing**

Joel was very aware how little Ellie knew about the world before the apocalypse; she had spent her time in a quarantine zone from birth to teens. She was never educated on how the world had its issues, but good people could still be found. All she knew was the abandoned emptiness and loneliness of what their few supervisors described. That's why he embraced her curiosity the best he could. He answered her questions the best of his abilities and felt a strange swell of emotion whenever her eyes lit up with purpose at his words. Her questions were never linked to on another, exposing her innocence that was hard to uncover.

'What's the difference between pop and rock?' Rock was good, pop had its moments.

'Why were there so many car companies?' Because all had something different.

'Was barbeque any good?' the best.

Always something random, always something only a child would be willing to learn. Her maturity and wisdom was useful for their situation, but those moments where she shows how much knowledge she lacked of how America was meant to be seen were when Joel felt a flicker of warmth in his stomach. Because it reminded him of something…something suppressed that he couldn't reach. He found these long forgotten emotions surfaced more and more often, his protectiveness of the teenager reaching something beyond a mere promise to a friend.

But those emotions were smeared away when danger came upon them, pulling up defenses and being ready for anything. Joel flinched as a bullet nearly skimmed his arm as he dove through a well-worn door and charged at a hunter, hesitation nonexistent when he drove his elbow in the unnamed man's nose and hijacked what little ammo he had. His heart never failed to race when he performed this sort of behavior, no matter how many times he heard the shouts of his opponents, adrenaline never dissipated until it was all over.

A fleeing figure caught the corner of his eye. He whipped around and pulled out his pistol, but the figure was gone. Joel snarled and gave chase in fear the figure was perusing Ellie. He caught it again jumping through a window. "There you are…" he growled, the pistol failing to be used as his target made away again. Frustration and the smallest hints of panic had him hurrying after through the same window, his prey nowhere in sight. He stayed alert, his eyes flitting through every corner, ears perking at every sound and muscles tense.

He was ready to attack. To defend. He walked into a hallway, ransacked suitcases and the same absolute sad looking-once brand new-hotel materials strewn across the moldy floor. His muscles tensed when the light thunk of a suit case being jostled. Joel turned around and this time, his opponent was right there-right for the taking. The twisted satisfaction in his gut was normal.

"I got you now asshole." He practically _boasted, _taking aim of the cautious man. He fired.

Blazing heat graced across his right side as the hunter chucked a Molotov at him, the curve of the throw saving him from direct contact. But Goddamnit it still burned! The man gave a sort war cry and charged as Joel hurriedly swiped away the alcohol induced flames. He shot once, got the man in the shoulder man him stumble to the floor, the flames licking at his boots and igniting his dirty pants.

Second shot. The bullet throws the man's skull into fragments, releasing brains and blood. He falls into a heap on the filthy carpet, a flame still dancing on his pant leg. The adrenaline slowly seeped out of middle aged joints, Joel hesitantly placing his revolver back into his belt. With a slightly breathless voice he called; "Ellie!" There was always those few seconds of barely audible dread when she didn't answer-those seconds where Joel felt compelled to search for her.

But of course she came back. He would hear her abused shoes softly pad against the carpet and there she would be; childish face and pocket knife in hand-completely unharmed.

"Im here…I'm here." She mumbled- her all seeing eyes catching the mutilated body still lightly burning on the floor. A flash of disgust and pity crossed her face, that upturned nose scrunching up as she covered her mouth and muttered a soft, "Oh… God." There it was; that flicker of innocence that always snapped Joel back into reality, back into himself and no longer the cold killer that had evolved over so long. He didn't want to realize how big of an effect the teenager had on him. He pursed his lips and with a curt nod said;

"C'mon." Without a word their shortcut through the hotel started again. They climbed through an elevator designed into a living space, climbing through the upper door into the shaft, the cables miraculously still holding the untouched machinery. He glanced at Ellie through the corner of his eyes as she slammed the shaft door closed, making the cables flex to the force. She stands there, her eyes on him in preparation for whatever his plan was. Never doubtful. The unintentional _openness _of the gaze had Joel tearing his wise eyes away, noticing the ajar entrance on the other side of the separation gate.

"Over there." He sucked in his fairly flat stomach and shuffled through an open space of the fence.

"S'gonna be a tight fit but…" he called to Ellie, showing it was alright to follow. He moved his feet side to side until he was in the middle of the slim edge, readying his feet for the short jump, the shock of his feet making the cables flex and give a strange 'twang' from the recoil. He stiffened as Ellie did the same thing, the 'twang' repeating itself under her less amount of weight as well. He pointed to Ellie as he crouched, the girl immediately moving over to him and setting her small foot into the palms of his hands.

"Now you find me somethin to climb on." She gave a quiet 'alright' and scrabble up, the assistance of Joel enabling her to make all the way. But there was that disturbing twang again. The entire elevator box dropping a few inches along with it. It was the only warning Joel had before the cables gave way completely, the male plummeting to the unknown abyss of the shaft. Before his weight seemed to fall from underneath him, he caught Ellies' horrified gaze. For a split second, the only thing strumming through his body was dread.

"OOH SHI-" he never got to finish the sentence when his arm _slammed _into the elevator that had been lost under his feet a moment ago, pain shooting up from elbow to shoulder. Then ice cold water was engulfing him. Oh God! The teeth chattering liquid made his muscles and nerves absolutely lock in one mass of shock. He clutched onto his throbbing arm and vigorously kicked his legs to the surface, taking in a lungful of air.

"Joel? Joel!" Ellies' panicked voice reached his water clogged ears. Blowing water out form between his lips. He hurriedly turned on his flashlight and gave a few weak strokes through the water.

"I'm alright!" He answered, feeling a heavy pit in his stomach when he noticed how far up she was. "Are you ok?" he added on, paddling a bit through the bitter cold water.

"No! You scared the shit out of me!" ok, no physical damage. That was a good sign. He clenched his teeth and forced himself to move a bit faster through the icy water.

"I-I'm gonna climb down there-"Ellie assured, moving to begin the careful scale down until Joel's startlingly distraught outburst stopped her.

"No! Just stay there. I'll come up to you." to emphasize his point, he began moving a little harder-His flashlight illuminating the way through all the rubbish and destroyed metal. There was a moment of silence before Ellie gave him a curt, but shaken answer.

"Don't do anything stupid." For some reason, those words made Joel's chest constrict in a way that had nothing to do with temperature shock. He glanced at Ellies' tiny figure, and then back at the way he had chosen to get out.

"…I'll try." And for once, he meant it.

**FUCK YES, GOT SOMETHING DONE! I'll try to get an update on Sully's secret soon, but I got the Last of Us bug and that's be there for bit. Bye!**


	4. Watches and Dark sides

**Summer vacation baby! That means I can finally fix up a few things I've been neglecting. (That includes sully's secret) but until then have an**** secret) but until then have a ****other installment to our lovely Last of Us multishots.**

Ellie knew Joel had a dark side; a frightening, hungry black pit in his heart that was fueled by the need to survive. A pit that fed off the fury and bitterness that kept them alive in the worst situations, what continued the adrenaline that enabled him to swing a bat hard enough to cave a man's head. Ellie was blatantly aware of it time and time again. Because though he tried to be as gentle as someone so rigid like himself could be, there was always that looming cloud over his head that displayed just how intimidating and deadly he could be. Bill knew this. Tess knew this. And they too held rings of disregard for human lives or the outcomes of their choices.

Joel gravitated around people like himself, people who saw the world before this awful fungus started taking innocent peoples' lives and self-awareness. They lost loved ones. They lost valuables. What? It's not her business to know what her elders' lives were beforehand. No matter how small or large the cloud was, it was strong enough to influence some of his choices when their well-being was at stake.

Even so, Ellie could see past it with surprising ease. She can see past it when his calloused hand takes hold of her toughening ones for retreat, or when he removes that plaid button shirt to place over her in the night. His brutality was harsh, stifling. But his intentions in the end were purely for her benefit, protecting her yet letting her grow. Teaching her ways of survival that only years of turmoil can bring. She can still feel the weight of her very first gun her bag, his southern twang ringing trough her ears as he instructs her of how to keep it clean and operable.

She was far from understanding him; his desire of distance and his cat like agility, the way his eyes get glassy in certain parts of the plush terrain they explore. He was a mystery. One Ellie could probably never solve. And maybe that was a good thing.

Because that dark side-that part of him that only slivers out during combat needs to stay locked up. He fights its insistence to take over, to make him nothing but a sheer blood thirsty monster and she knows he doesn't want that. She can see it when he oh so subtly shakes his head after defending them from all the walking dangers in the neglected world. He has compassion, and he has to balance it to avoid being an utter heartless prick and being a weak target to the freaks out there. It hurt Ellie to watch him juggle such emotions.

So to conclude her contradicting statements, there were days where she felt utterly weightless and safe with Joel, listening to the interesting stories she coaxes out of him. Then, there were days where she didn't know his attitude at all, days they butted heads and ruffled already abused feathers. It were these days the teenager didn't let her guardian touch or speak to her, just travel in tense silence.

Those brief, but tense travels reminded her of their first meeting; Joel distant and cold, barely giving her a glance like merchandise. She had hated him at first. She hated his attitude, hated his way of life, hated him. But soon, her promise of safety became him. He became the person she ran too when danger became too much, and she became…something to him. She wasn't sure yet. All she knew was it was codependence.

Tess had once made a snide comment that they were too much alike to be a team.

Neither companion had made a returning comment. But the woman had a point at the time, noting that Ellie was a watered down version of the man that had taken her under agreements that she had organized as much as her caretakers.

It also made Ellie aware of how truly similar they were; their outlooks on life, their means to live another day for no true reason. They were no 'identical personality' duo but they did indeed hold attitudes that fit like two puzzles. Their morals…were left out of discussion. Ellie didn't have any at the moment; she was experiencing and learning too much to get a solid lesson or outlook on what was seen. It was all so fast and shocking she could hardly keep up.

Joel was too indifferent to give her a talking to about the rights and wrongs. _Oh wait_, she thinks bitterly. There aren't any. It was a saddening thought to know the rules that once seemed ridiculous in the quarantine zone seemed comforting and reasonable in a world where it was 'eat or be eaten' quite literally in some areas.

She didn't miss the isolated area itself; she just missed the promise of order.

Out here, there was no curfew, no ration limitation, and no attendance restriction. It was as a free for all.

Joel didn't enforce any rules besides stick close, and keep your guard up. In his eyes she was a young woman, not a child. She was capable of being entrusted with his hand…and his life. When she thought too much about it- that honestly scared her.

She really should thank Joel for his agreement to smuggle her out, take her to see the world at its worst and fill her with knowledge both useless and vital. It was exciting, refreshing and fascinating. At least the calm moments of their travels were. She would rather go without catching the sight of Joel shooting a hole into a mans' head.

But what can you do when everything around you is meant to kill?

Nothing but defy it, disrupt it's natural course to keep your own life in the process.

If Ellie can solidify one thing that Joel taught her, it would be that you'll meet more things out for your blood than those that will preserve it.

She felt said man shift against her shoulder, jostling her out of the purgatory between awareness and sleep.

"Mmm…S…ah." He was mumbling again. He did that nearly every night; muttered random, pointless things in his sleep as his head lulled and his hands twitched. For such a collective man, he was hopeless in his sleep. "n…" He calmed for a moment, a sigh passing his lips as he stilled once again.

Ellie gave him a long side glance, studying the ever prominent bags that rested under his eyelids. She examined the gray touched dark hair that came for his head and traveled down his jaw. He looked aged. Tired.

She watched his chest rise and fall for a moment, his breaths controlled and silent even in his sleep. She let her eyes travel across his exposed arms, skittered with little marks fresh and old, his knuckles equally battle tainted, that broken watch wrapped tightly around his right wrist nearly concealed by the bandage cradling his latest wound.

"What." A graveled, thick voice pushed out from new consciousness.

"Nothing." Ellie replied softly, finding focus in the hues of her guardians' eyes. He grunted, letting his head drop back to the wall behind them. "I just…I wonder what's up with the watch." She admitted, catching Joel's once loose shoulders stiffen at the mention of his useless time piece. His eyes are closed again, a wrinkle in his forehead where he's frowning.

"'Doesn't matter what's with it. I keep it for my reasons. Go to sleep." He brushed her off like he always managed, his ability to recover too strong when she probed at his possessions or his shadowed past. Silence fell again, Joel's breathing starting to even out once again. No matter the warning bells going off in her head told her, she always wanted to know more about the older; and she knows her questions only make him shut off deeper inside himself. She feels guilty sometimes, seeing the twist in his features or the darkening in his eyes when she asks questions.

He tries. He really does to answer her honestly and wholesomely.

But then she hits a chord, brushes an old wound and he coils back up and there's no hope for an answer.

Ellie studies him one more time, his face slack once again. He'll start his mumbling soon. She's picked up on the pattern; bursts of mumbling and sighing before he lays still again. She should apologize when he's up and ready to go for their directionless trip. '_But for now_…' she muses, hesitantly resting her head against the softest part of his shoulder. _'For now I'll let him sleep.'_ Though he's rigid and distant…and three different kinds of brutal, he's shockingly warm. So warm that the moment their contact increases, her entire half close to him his engulfed in a gentle blanket of heat that puts her muscles at rest.

That warmth is what relaxes her enough for her eyes to droop, her cheek finding comfort in a meaty part of her human heaters shoulder. She's falling back into her purgatory when Joel shifts-less than usual-and the side of his head finds purchase on the top of hers. "Mph…" She should feel annoyed, but instead a hint of a smile hits her soft features.

Maybe Joel wasn't as rigid as she had claimed.

***CHOIR SINGS HALLELUJAH* I FINALLY FINISHED THIS. ;V; the awful part is it isn't even that large of a chapter I just had the worst case of writers block known to MAN. I got the game. Haven't gotten very far cuz the beginning was more than I bargained for. But from what I've experienced, worth the year long wait. (btw this might be the last installment UNLESS you want me to continue as I play the game. review and let me know~**


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